A long time ago in a state kinda far away, Arkansas was once relevant. The Hogs have returned with the blinding clumsy fury of a Bua personal foul to take the SEC West and represent the rest of the West teams in the SEC Championship game. Sitting atop the West, Darth Nutt seeks to use the power of the Ozarkdark Side to achieve his ultimate goal: destruction of the noble LSUdi. With the help of Lootie Calrissian, Croombacca the Wookie, and Han Shula, Les Mileswalker continues to evade the powerful beefy grip of Jabba the Fulmer, who must meet Darth Visor in a bitter battle for the last cruller. Starring Carrie Fisher as Urban Meyer.     The LSU equipment crew unveils their new secret weapon, the LaRonerator. Made entirely of cinder block and artfully painted to fool even the least-crosseyed-Hog fan, this LaRon replica comes complete with taps for up to 6 types of beers. The LaRonerator will be placed on the field in strategic situations to serve as a decoy; at some point, McFadden will notice the beer taps and won't be able to help himself, so he'll kick the LaRonerator like he likes to do and mangle his foot again. This is when LSU will strike like the cobra and destroy the Hogs once and for all or at least for this game but nothing like putting some good ol' fashioned cobrafear into the hearts of others. Well, kids...the long grubby trail is winding down...we can finally see the landfill in the distance, and it is named War Memorial. The final regular season game is here already; a dozen games passing us by like tortoises launched by catapaults. The Battle for the Boot is upon us, and this game's outcome will have ramifications througout the nation, even impacting BCS matchups, Hog fans' hygiene, and low-lying cloud systems. This game has become as much a Thanksgiving tradition as coins of pellucid jellied cranberry sauce, and it is a bitter rivalry that puts 2 schools and 2 states at odds with each other...the swamps of Louisiana versus the mountainous regions of Arkansas...the normal digits of Louisiana versus the caudal fins and cloacas of Arkansas...the spicy and delicious cuisine of Louisiana versus 40 million gallons of white salty milk + flour sausage gravy of Arkansas (it's their state gravy, you know) - all on display for the fatted populace! Though the Tigers cannot play in Atlanta for the SEC Championship, there is still much at stake, including the Joseph Carey Merrick of college football trophies: The Boot. The Tigers have held The Boot for several years, which has really addressed the rancid lard smell that was present when we recaptured the trophy. If the Hogs win The Boot on Friday, The Boot can only suffer as Arkansas fans lick it like a giant golden lollipop. We're not sure where it is now...maybe it holds the door open to the room with the National Championship trophy? We can only hope that if Arkansas fans get to The Boot that their oral enyzmes and radula-like tooth doesn't tarnish/scratch the trophy it's real expensive to get someone to clean pork bits out of the engraving and how did they get the gravy inside the trophy? Arkansas' impressive run through the SEC this season has been surprising, especially given the fact that their offensive coordinator was coaching high school last year. Of course, the coordinator's playcall sheet could just be a Hoyle's Rules of the Game with "McFadden left" and "McFadden right" scrawled in pencil, and that would be adequate. LSU's defense will certainly have their hands full with Arkansas' McFadden (not as full as a Hog's fans hands at a family reunion, natch), but the ferocious Tiger D welcomes back painmissile Beckwith to the lineup, and that boy loves him some maim-glazed pork chops. It's been rumored that we've told Glenn Dorsey that The Boot is really for Italy and Glenn loves meatballs so this could get ugly. Arkansas has already won the SEC west, which if you say it out with a long "e" is "seecwest" or more like SeaQuest which had Jonathon Brandis who was in Ladybugs with Rodney Dangerfield who was in Easy Money with Jennifer Jason Leigh who was in In The Cut with Kevin Bacon, which is made from pork. Lasertags, 17 Tigerduckens, 24 Happy Thanksgiving to all; let us fight through a tryptophan haze to enjoy the game and cheer all on. Best of luck to everyone. May you feed as much at the table as you've fed at The Trough. Welcome to The Trough, a place that really gets to the meat of LSU's opponents. Ok, not so much the meat, but the sinewy gristle and thick connective tissue. We then feed these funbits through a grinder to get a coarse meaty bounty, and that's what is on display here. It should be a given that while The Trough is loosely related to LSUChicageaux.com, it's more like a Baton Rouge uncle than a Tuscaloosa cousin. In other words, what's in The Trough is obviously not endorsed by any official LSU entity. They've got better sense than that.