Thursday nights is MUST-SEE-TV on NotreDame Broadcasting Corporation, and with the Tigers squaring off against the Bulldogs, this Thursday night is no exception!   Destined to be the hit of the season, Croomates follows 6 young friends trying to make it in the sprawling pastures of Starkville. A show about the bond between friends, and those with whom we share our successes and our failures (mostly failures). SPOILER ALERT: Fittingly, in the land of Croomates, "Rancid" and "Loss" end up together.     A young couple faces the ups and downs and twists and turns, without trying to drive each other nuts. Free of bull, Madkin About You slices through the tough parts of a relationship and beautifully illustrates how things can get testy, but a dogged spirit can always cut to the meat of the matter and show that even when a couple is juggling a lot of balls, they've got it in the bag. stark [stahrk] adjective harsh, grim, or desolate, as a view, place, etc.: a stark landscape. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. [The man shifts a mound of pale clammy skin, unzips a bulging fanny pack (spilling Red Man and a stack of bovine IUDs that have been doubling as stylish Starkville bangles, or "reminder rings")...a beef short rib bone is pushed aside and a pudding cup is removed, and lo and behold, there it is...a little rusty...maroon paint chipping...a trapezoidal nightmare...] Cling, clang. Cling, clang. Cling, clang. The elegant relentless beat of the waning countdown clock might as well be a dented cowbell in the clutches of a meaty fist; it won't matter much, of course. The end result - a back country beatdown of spectacular proportions - will be just the right caliber slug in this season's starting pistol. Fellow gadabouts, we implore you - shake the sediment back up into your jugs of rotgut, re-tighten the rubber band on your rattails, and tighten the velcro on your workout gloves...it's GAME TIME! Fury and wrath have already hopped on the pain train, and they're barrelling into Oktibbeha County for the hecatomb. This week's skirmish - ESPNUSC's weird Thursday night game (apparently, TCU was busy) - is hosted by conference "foe" Mississippi Stayht, whose relentless pursuit of total suck is one of the Modern SEC Wonders of the World, right after JaMarcus' arm, Tebow's brilliant smile, Ed Orgeron's waxy patina, and is just before Nick Saban's cloacal mouth. Stayht is led by Sylvester Croom, who you have to admit has a pretty sweet name. Like a wrestler or something. Just like Stayht's offense, WRESTLING IS REAL. The Tigers start this season in fine fashion, as expectations for this season rest as high as a hat. The Tigers and their new tiger cub, Mike VI, start this season ranked #2 in the land. It's kind of neat, because Stayht is ranked #2 in town, right behind Pee Wee team Buford's Tamales, who runs a swinging gate offense. So, #2 vs. #2 - should be quite the matchup. Starkville will be filled with Stayht's fan, as he takes to the stands with flasks (which are really just cowbells in disguise) to cheer on his team. The noxious clang of the cowbells is the perfect sound to hide the shrieking of Stayht's backfield when Beckwith is about to unload a heaping tablespoon of sifted justice. While the days of Stayht being an SEC power have since passed, you should note that Stayht is still a threat...mostly to your health and sanity. Do not operate heavy machinery or artillery while listening to Stayht play. Do not stare at a Stayht game for any extended period of time; the void of adequacy may very well suck your humours through your iris. Do not watch Stayht if you are pregnant, or considering becoming pregnant. Your brother is probably watching the game anyway. If you are exposed to an article of Stayht clothing, flush affected area immediately with water and induce vomiting (you probably won't need to induce...a Stayht offensive series is the ipecac of the football world). Take Stayht with alcohol, as that's really the only way. Do not exceed the daily recommended dose of Stayht, unless that's the only way you can take your mind off of the fact that one of the finest moments in your team's history followed a bull castration. If you experience priapism, or a painful erection lasting more than 4 hours, you are probably an Alabama fan who just won't put the Media Guide down. Yes, we heard about the Spring Game. Don't worry, there will be plenty more pictures of Nick. He's a very photogenic fellow - Miami tan and all. The journey of many Miles starts with a single step; kind of unfortunate that that lone foot will be firmly implanted in Stayht's rear. To Friday morning Starkville we say, "May you recoup your dignity during the weekend. Maybe you'll get a free order of tots at Sonic or something. Chin up, cowbell. Chin up." And away we go, and all the kids say, Dorsey, Dorsey, don't you stop Reach that QB and give him a pop Your legs start churning making hot pain butter Put that crapbag in the gutter Dorsey, Dorsey, on your way Swim moves, spin moves, whoa, ow, hey Reach that back and deliver that lick Gouge out eyes with sweet scissor-kick Dorsey, Dorsey, slash and tear Crush O-line like blade-covered bear Bludgeon and bash to yet another sack Yes, Mr. QB, you can have your soul back. New tiger cub Roscoe Mike VI and his boys: 49 Free tots: 7 Welcome to The Trough, a place that really gets to the meat of LSU's opponents. Ok, not so much the meat, but the sinewy gristle and thick connective tissue. We then feed these funbits through a grinder to get a coarse meaty bounty, and that's what is on display here. It should be a given that while The Trough is loosely related to LSUChicageaux.com, it's more like a Baton Rouge uncle than a Tuscaloosa cousin. In other words, what's in The Trough is obviously not endorsed by any official LSU entity. They've got better sense than that.